Drama of the farts

AfbeeldingJust when you’re having a lovely dinner with that cute guy, your stomach is starting to rumble. Ignore, ignore, ignore is what you’re telling yourself. If you can’t ignore it, just make a quick stop at the bathroom and dissolve al gases. A few weeks later you’ll spend time at his home and after a few hours of socializing it’s back again, that huge bubble who wants to be freed from his imprisonment. You try to keep a straight face and to pretend nothing is wrong, until you notice that he notices that something is up. You ask if he can pour you another drink. While he’s in the kitchen, you’ll just have a quick jog through his living room so you can shake off that awful smell.

After a few weeks you will have a seriously relationship with that guy. You’ll spend so much time together that the bubbles are turning into giant rocks. Unload your rocks in front of him, or not? You ask if the sweetheart would like to get you some sweets of the supermarket downstairs, because you have been craving those sweets for days. The moment he shuts the door you quickly jump on the toilet and dump the stones where they belong. When he comes back you’re still sitting on the same bench as if you never moved an inch. Pretty girls don’t poop, isn’t that what they say?

After several months of serious dating these situations will regularly pass. So is it acceptable after a few months to drop those bombs in his presence?

I’m in a relationship for two years now and I refuse. Not because I do not feel at ease, but because I find it unnecessary to share my bubbles, stones or rocks with my lover.

On the other hand, a friend told me she left her first rock with the door OPEN just after a week being together. That was something that made me shudder and was also the reason I could not launch my stones for a week. If it were up to me, the era of exchanging rocks will never be. According to some, I have a phobia, but if you do not experience your rocks as something pleasant, why would your lover find this true? And yes my boyfriends says I always smell nice, but I don’t think those smells are included.

When you’re in public and you notice that someone farts, you find this unappealing. Isn’t this also unattractive if it’s your girlfriend or boyfriend who’s doing this? Even though  it’s a normal human phenomenon. But if you find this unattractive, will your partner slowly become less attractive? Besides that, is it really worth it to spend most of the time with the person you love while having abdominal pain? He should take you the way you are, right? When is the right time to just lose those bubbles and rocks without any shame?

One Reply to “Drama of the farts”

  1. I love this topic.

    So; I’m completely against doing it freely, indignantly or indiscriminately in front of your partner but my last boyfriend (without any incident having occurred) was very clear about saying that I wasn’t allowed to.
    Ever.

    ‘Girls don’t fart’ was the phrase used

    Now, as I said – I’ve always been against it. But as soon as he said that I felt compelled to argue the point as to why I should be allowed to. ‘Girls don’t fart? Do you mean to say that our intestines are different than yours?’

    I went on in that relationship to continue not farting in front of him, as I still just don’t feel the need to share, but I did feel a deep resentment toward him every time something was brewing in my intestine haha.

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