Sandra Stress

hanger-star$719103838Today it was that time again to work in the museum as a ‘wardrobe-lady’. And as everybody knows, there are a lot of women who take their job way too serious. Just like the woman I had to work with today. ‘Sandra Stress’ is what I called her. Unfortunately I can’t remember her real name, so I thought this was an appropriate title to give.

Sandra Stress told me that there were approximately 180 guests invited, but that we could handle so many people because we had each other. According to Sandra, it was best that one of us took the coats and that the other one would hang them. She also explained to me how she numbered the hangers and why we had to hang them on the top. ‘So we don’t have to bend down.’ A-ha, I certainly couldn’t come up with that myself… Sandra fucking genius!!

Sandra also explained to me twice how to reset the device that printed the tickets for the coats. After that she asked me 3 times if I was sure I understood how everything worked because if I didn’t she would take care of everything. After all … it was quite difficult.

  1. Open device
  2. Turn the key
  3. Close the device
  4. Press number 7
  5. Lift cover
  6. Rollback key
  7. Close cover
  8. Press A

I wasn’t sure if I could remember all that, I mean I had to perform so many actions…

When the guests arrived Sandra Stress was ready to rock! After the first three guests she said; ‘           this goes perfect don’t you think ‘?! She was very proud that her system worked. The guests didn’t arrive all at once so when it was quiet Sandra explained to me that if the there were no more hangers on the top rail, it was best to put the hangers from the bottom on the top. Why do you ask? So I didn’t have to bend down constantly of course. It was amazing how much wisdom Sandra was sharing.

There was a moment the guests arrived in large groups at once and according to Sandra I was not fast enough. If I received a jacket from a guest Sandra was more than eager to rip the coat out of my hands and do everything herself ASAP. Several times she pulled the jackets that I just received for 2 seconds out of my hands and I was frequently scratched by Sandra’s lovely sharp nails. I was having a marvelous time.

The more guests arrived, the more stressed out Sandra became. That’s why I also found it a lot of fun to try and work in slow-motion. Trying to work as slow as I could. At one time Sandra couldn’t take it anymore and stopped pulling the coats out of my hands and started to continue pulling the coats out of the guests’ hands. ‘You don’t have to put them on hangers anymore, I will do that so you can quickly help the next one’, she said to me. Okay Stress if you say so. If I don’t have to take the coats anymore, why don’t you just stay here by yourself?

Next to her stressing out Sandra was also very nice. She consulted me about how many coats we could hang on 1 rail. ‘What do you think, 30 of 40?’ At least she appreciated my opinion.

I think it was about 5 times that Sandra calculated how many coats we could hang on one rail. There were a 180 guests, 30 coats times 5 rails is 150, WHAT NOW? It was impossible to hang 40 coats on one rail. That’s why Sandra stress was hoping that 30 guests didn’t show up or came without a coat. I didn’t understand why she was worrying so much. Everyone could see that 4 out of 10 men were dressed in suits and had no jacket. When it became more and more quiet Sandra became less stressed because now she could see that there was enough space left.

At 7 pm Sandra Stress her shift was over and she asked me if I would be fine on my own. ‘Of course, I said, ‘you don’t have to worry’. A huge burden fell of Sandra her shoulders and she grabbed her stuff en coat. ‘Are you sure you know how to reset the device?’ YES SANDRA STRESS JUST GO ALREADY!
When Sandra Stress was finally gone, I had a small panic attack. Maybe I couldn’t do this by myself? How could I go on without Sandra’s wisdom and strategies?!

No I’m just joking around. Sandra Stress made me realize that I had to build a future for myself. I was doing these kinds of jobs for way too long and I had to make sure I found something new and challenging. Otherwise, I would just end up like Sandra Stress. A woman that made it her life’s work to hang coats. If that were to happen to me I would have to live with two disappointments: one because this wasn’t the future that I envisioned and second because I could impossible match with Sandra Stress her work ethics. So with this, I want to thank Sandra Stress, how annoying and stressful you were, you made me want to be a better person.

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