Working till death

Damn, this is taking forever. It felt like she pushed on the elevator button 10 minutes ago. It was making her nervous… Finally the elevator arrived. Going up 12 floors, early in the morning with meaningless colleagues, nope she rather didn’t. When the elevator doors closed, a hand intervened, causing the doors to open again. Great, it was her favorite colleague Abigail. ‘Good morning, morning.’

First floor, second floor, third floor, ‘is it Friday already?’ said a giggling Abigail. Count till ten, count till ten, she repeatedly said to herself. She was already annoyed that almost every morning she shared the elevator with Abigail. It didn’t matter what time she started, she was always there. And every Monday she made the ‘is it Friday’ comment. Did she not realize she has been saying this for a year on EVERY freaking Monday?!

Once she arrived on the 12th, she got her stuff and started working. She noticed the coffee morning ritual had started. Most of her colleagues would start their morning with a half hour chit-chat. But she never felt like joining their club. She always had to much work to do and the earlier she started, the earlier she could go home. Her administration job was not challenging at all, but there was always something to do and the salary was great. She wanted to be in sales, but when she applied for that kinda job, she nearly lost 600 bucks in her paycheck. It was the money that kept her here, even though she didn’t enjoy her work at all. She hardly learned new things and she and her colleagues didn’t really ‘click’. They didn’t share the same humor… or something like that.

Everyday when she got ready for work, she asked herself the same thing. Is this it? Is this what I live for? Working in a place that I do not like, but it can pay the bills. Working in a place that I don’t enjoy, but because the paycheck is okay, I can regularly take a good holiday and recharge and go back to the job that is emotionally draining me.

She sighed deeply and started walking toward the printer to print her shitload. Unfortunately, the company she worked for wasn’t yet so digital. When she arrived at the printer, Fabian was using it. He was whistling as always. She had to yawn again, whereupon he said, ‘GOTCHA!’ and he laughed very very loud. She gave him the best smile she could give at the moment. Fabian always yelled ‘gotcha’ when I saw her yawn, even if it was 5 times a day, every day. He continued to think it was funny, or he didn’t realize that he always made the same ‘joke’, she was not sure. When he was done using the printer, Fabian apologized multiple times while bowing as if she had been waiting forever. This was something he also did every time when they ran into each other at the print room. Oh well…

Luckily the time went fast and it was 5 already. When she was on her way to the exit, Fabian yelled, ’have a nice weekend everybody!’ the entire department reacted surprised. ‘Nice weekend, it’s Monday?’ Fabian loved it. Obviously he was making a joke and of course he realized it was just Monday. ’If only it was Friday right?!’ Did nobody noticed that he made this joke weekly on Mondays and Tuesdays? Fabian was clearly the comedian at work.

When she walked home, her mind ran off. Would she end up like Fabian and Abigail if she continued to work here? Doing the same work every day, making the same jokes, drinking coffee at the same time, going in circles every day? We are creatures of habit, but is this for real?

The rest of the week was the same. On Tuesday it still wasn’t Friday according to some colleagues and on Friday it was ‘Monday before you know it.’ Basically it meant that her colleagues where always looking forward to the weekend, based on the ‘jokes’ they were making all week. Was this her future? Is it standard to hate our lives during the week, while working towards the weekend and on Sunday we can hate our lives again because it’s almost Monday morning and than looking forward to the weekend again which isn’t a spectacle either?

Everyday she told herself that everything was okay and that she was simply exaggerating and that it wasn’t that bad. Until an elevator ride on a Monday morning with an unknown colleague that said, ‘a few more days till Friday.’ The comment was followed by chuckling sounds. She could not believe her eyes and ears. Dit was no Abigail, this was a colleague that was barely older than 25. This was her, but probably a few months further. When the girl her age got out of the elevator, she pushed ‘0’ and went home.

At home she wrote her letter of resignation and called her manager. She could no longer continue this routine and she knew this was the best decision. She had to change her life.

The few months that followed were heavy on her. She could not find a job that would make her happy and she refused to go back to the same kind of situation as before. She was slowly finishing her savings and she was becoming kinda desperate. Everyone close to her said that she had been a fool, a fool for giving up her job, just like that. But for her, it wasn’t just like that, it felt like she didn’t had a choice.

Her days were getting longer and empty. It looked like a fitting job ceased to exist. She no longer knew how to survive, so she just stopped surviving.

On Monday she resigned from her job and 4 months later on a Friday she resigned from life. If the weekends could not recharge her for the daily clutter, what else was there to live for…

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